There have been many life lessons that I have learned during the last 3.6 years.
One very important life lesson: Every story is different. There isn’t a single person who can say they know what you are going through. Doesn’t it annoy you when you are sharing your story and someone says, “I know EXACTLY what you are going through.” No you don’t, and here’s why.
I am the only person who knows the feeling I get in my chest when I go for an appointment and it is overwhelming. Overwhelming because there are so many factors when trying to figure out what to do to get me where I need to be. Where I want to be.
How can I go from having my leg wrapped every single day in layers of foam and short stretched bandages, to being in a compression garment to control the swelling which will allow me to get back into a shoe? It sounds easy, however, I am such a “unique” case, that the answer is complicated. And just for the record – can we find a new word to describe me and my situation? “Unique” is getting old.
One person may think a custom garment will work if it is lined in silk and has silver in it, and then another person will disagree. What do you do? One person may think a new custom carbon fiber brace will work which will allow me to get out of the orthopedic boot and into a sneaker. Another person will disagree. What do you do?
Let’s not forget one very important piece of this – I am on a hip restriction for life which presents many limitations. How will I be able to get these compression garments on by myself? They are hard enough to put on for a person without any restrictions. The “easy” answer seems to be that “someone” can simply help me. I didn’t realize that the magic fairy will deliver that “someone” to me. It isn’t easy to find someone to swing by each day and do these things.
The list goes on but who really needs a laundry list of issues? The road has been long and I put on my big girl pants each and every day and give it my all. Some days the smiles come easy and other days the tears replace the smiles.
Another life lesson I have learned: At times, I walk the journey alone. Especially in my heart and soul. My family, friends, medical professionals, et cetera, have been wonderful. Amazing, really. But I am the only person who feels the stress and the overwhelming feeling of “will I ever get my life back?”
I do know the only way to figure out if something will work is to try it. That can be terrifying when there is so much to worry about. The darn what ifs can make a girl stressed out! “What if my foot opens up again?” “What if I need another free flap surgery?” “What if I can never drive, work, be “normal” again?” It is easy to get up one day and decide, I am not going to stress or worry about x,y, or z and then the next day the worry and fear set in. It’s just a part of life.
Every story is different. No one person knows exactly what you are going through. One day may be tough but hopefully the following day will be better. Trust me friends, my journey started with a limb salvage situation and I am so thankful that we saved this leg and foot. There are truly no words to express my deep gratitude for what my amazing surgical team has been able to do. But! That doesn’t mean the journey has been easy.
Every day is not rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes it is okay to say, it sucks. It hurts. I am so confused. I want to move forward but I am stuck in limbo.
One of the most important life lessons: NEVER GIVE UP. Today may have been overwhelming, but tomorrow will be better. We are going to figure these things out. Trial and error. Tears and smiles.
Until next time, be well and go out and do a random act of kindness.