I get a little nervous now talking about my triumphs because it seems that once I do, something happens and I take a few steps back. But I am “throwing caution to the wind” as they say, and I am excited to share my progress with you!
In physical therapy last week, I started practicing walking with only one crutch! ONE. CRUTCH. It may not seem like a big thing, but man, to me it sure did! I mean, it was only for a brief time but progress is what we strive for. My physical therapist and I were high-fiving with excitement! (Thank you, Anita! – BEST physical therapist ever!)
Things like this give me the encouragement I need and allows me to see that things will eventually come together. It is taking forever, I know, but if the end result is me being completely healed and walking again, well, the steps backward are bearable.
I do get nervous when I put additional weight on my leg and hip as I worry that my body isn’t strong enough to accommodate what we are doing, but it needs to happen. The prosthesis cannot fail. This leg has to get use to having my full body weight on it again. My body needs to get stronger. So I take a few deep breaths and move forward.
Do you remember the scene from the movie, Rocky, when Sylvester Stallone’s character reaches the top of the stairs and he throws his arms up victoriously? That’s how I feel when things come together and I make progress. I feel like, hell yes, I can and will do this!
It is such an odd feeling though, putting more and more weight on my leg. It’s almost as though my brain is telling me that I am doing something wrong because it has been so long since I have been fully bearing weight on this leg. Often times I wonder if I will get to the point when I can walk around freely, sans my crutches? I would settle for walking around with a cane or one crutch if it means that I can fully function.
That’s a tall order though. We have to get this swelling under control in my leg so I can have a greater range of motion. Bending my knee at a thirty degree angle won’t get me far. I need to be able to bend my knee enough so I can drive and do the normal things that I was once capable of doing. It would be awesome to be able to fit into a shoe and be able to bend enough to actually tie that shoe, along with many other things.
The days can be frustrating and there are tears shed, but still, I rise. And I always will.
Stay strong my friends! We are all in this together!
Until next time, be well and go out and do a random act of kindness.